On Friday, Lieutenant Governor of Texas Dan Patrick worked the corporate media circuit, attempting to rabble rouse some helter skelter concerning the controversial bathroom law in North Carolina.

Patrick, an apparent expert at Republican hyperbole and pearl-clutching terror attempted to use the tired example of his granddaughter in the bathroom with a man – gasp! The official used his fear-inducing language on Fox News and MSNBC as pundits stood open-mouthed at the stupidity of the man.

Patrick is like if those badly edited memes that your ignorant distant relatives share all day came to life and ran for office: completely immune to fact and empathy.

Watch.